i m losing you. can u see it

I AM LOSING YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?

i am so afraid this would happen. it was like predicted?
from the very day when you waivered about your thoughts about sticking through it together.
i was so sad about your mindset that i showed it out in anger instead.

i was soo angry tht day. in my heart i was like.
WHAT THE SHIT?! i thought WE agreed on this together? i thought we were supposed to be together like super glue?

so what happen in the middle?
first it was losing the days that we were able to meet up.
next it was losing the hours we were able to see each other in due to our commitments,
next was not introducing your friends to me and went to events w/o me .
then it was not sharing details about your life with me cause instead of laughing WITH ME , you shared your laughter with others.

then when it comes to me asking you out. YOU WERE NEVER EVER FREE. but u always took the time out to go to other ppl events and i dont see why i dont get such things.

i went all the way for you , but u just took it for granted and left me here all alone now.

THE WHOLE CONCEPT IS SUPPOSE TO BE TOGETHER...
WHICH PART OF together do you not understand.

was it to? or was it gather.

argh i am feeling angry, sad , lonely and many more feelings which is too complex for my limited vocab. i bet rongquan could do a better job.

i know you dont visit my blog.

but do you know how hard is it to confront you with this problem?

you dun reply my msges, you dun ans my call .

wth is wrong man...
so now you got A and many more.

so yeah i get the hint.
you dun want to stick ard with me anymore.

just another person who is gonna break my heart once more.
i shld have a loyal guy friend.

ahh! i am so jealous of those girls tht can spend time with you but not me!!!
do u know how sad i am right now.


JNZL

fml

suck suck suck! my lappy dropped twice today an now it has a dent on the left and the keypad bottom left! 

my 15' mac! no..

anyway, i hav been thinking of being someone who is capable of drawing and designing houses, wedding dresses.

and you know what? it sucks that my future job is now where near my ideal job.

so much for live the dream you dream.

where got money and youth to do it?

and now i am stuck with money money money related studies.

hais.

being an architect sounds so nice .

but! but! why didnt i know that designers = architect? DUMB DUMB DUMB!

my test and assignments are now taking a backseat and the main highlight for the upcoming holiday is to summarise everything and omg. i hate myself for unable to have focus.

acct 100 test was easy. all thanks to my mugging and i think i am able to score 100! woo hoo!

I FEEL LIKE SHOPPING IN FOREVER 21.

i want to buy many many clothes which look pretty on me.

i want to slim down. -.-

JNZL

growing up

GROWING UP IS NEVER EASY

In The end, we only regret the chances we didn't take.


I just realised i have grown up.


you know how i knew i grown up?
it was when i read the latest chic magazine and that it all made sense!


when i was young, i would never ever want to step into top shop as it was oh so exp! and my thinking was that it would waste money.


however, nowadays, i would always prefer to buy expensive but i would look fab in it.
like how i am aiming to buy a FOSSIL ceramic watch which currently cost $395.


and i would like to buy branded bags like long champ! and i even thought of buying 2 pieces of exp clothes a month or maybe a pair of heels?


i am so wanting to ditch the look the so suay bian outfit an wear stylishly .
so i knew i had grown up a little. not crazy wanting $1000 shoes or bags you know.


so i have started to appreciate branded and stylish goods . like warehouse, blabla..
now i know that it really takes a person to grow up to appreciate certain things.


watch out shops and boutiques! i will be saving up and buying them down!
oh my. my wish list is so long it reaches joo koon.


anw, i will try to use this as an incentive to wake up on time for sch and stop CABBING!
and also i will drink less KOI! because need to buy fashion clothing.


oh yeah! i cant wait till dec when sales kicks in!
MUACKS~






JNZL

love

i feel like i am a hypocrite to myself.
i feel sucky because i am like tht.

i feel that i cant be independent . WHY LIKE THAT!
when all u got to lose is everything, why r u still on that path?





such strong vocals.
if only everyone was like them.
i hate the center girl! she really CANNOT MATCH those standards of the two seniors. argh! why was she even put inside this grp of -oh so powerful until gets goosebumbs grp.

JNZL

study so hard i can be guilt free

i promise i will study so hard that i will be the next syjia.

i will not procrastinate like what lena said i always tend to do.

i will do all my best to research, summarize and do my assignments and tutorials properly .

i will not be intimidated by people who finish faster than me because i know it is not the speed that counts, i will always have faith in my end products and will not feel stress or irritated if people did it better than me in a shorter period of time and i will not be upset if people doesn't want to share info with me and i will socialize more than usual and i will not feel irritated if i see too many people acting too fake.

i will do my very best and do things to the best of my potential. 

i will wake up early in the morning and sleep well at night.

i will not be upset over things tht doesnt affect my studies and i will not let people demoralize me.

when lena said she didnt went out at all during her uni days i feel so sinned, but its nv too late to change.

when she said everyone does assignments on own time own target i realise all ppl are for themselves and it is ok to be like one.

i will overcome procrastination.

please help me ming en and sufi!!

JNZL

the changes of my hair colour

ok i went to a salon which lena recommended or rather she smsed me 3 times to tell me to go there to get a colour treatment which guarantees that it will make my hair DARKER.

HOWEVER AS U CAN SEE MY HAIR IS JET-BLACK!

well, with a strong sunlight u can see the ash colour which the aunty mixed.

so i thought my hair colour was going to be dark brown or darker tone.

oh well, i guess i can live with this colour.

and, i look younger in this hair colour? well i took lots of photos! so  u be the judge.

fian and en said it looked gd.

well fian just loves black so bias statement.

anw, dun mind me acting cute k, gotta pose for pictures! anw, i doubt ppl will read my post anymore since i was so inactive.

doesnt matter. but it cost $80! and lena helping me pay $40. but i lost my wallet in the airport. those tht saw my wallet, it the hello kitty one! HENG SHIT I DIDNT BRING MY KATE SPADE.

i still couldnt find it. SHITTY SHIT SHIT.

this effect is soooo cool!

JNZL

never enough.

everything i do is never enough.

no matter how much i study, it never seems enough.

no matter how much i slp , it nv seems enough.

no matter how much i earn it never seems enough.

no matter how hard i tried to end certain things, it just seems i didnt try hard enough .

no matter how much i see someone, it will nv be enough. it just feels like i gotta see him everyday which to me still isnt enough.

there is only so much i can do w/o sacrificing my laughter.

no matter how much i try to clear my homework and assignments it stills feels like mt fuji.

no matter how much i would try to do something, something will be in my way.

so i really hope that u appreciate that i really tried that hard and not think how much more harder i could have tried.

blablabla.

JNZL