its IU old song. MIA. i cant upload the mv . its ok u can youtube it.

 all i can say is that work saved me.it makes everything blurred and makes time pass fast.

JNZL

Deillusioned

When someone is trying the best to pull u back to reality, accept the facts and move on.

But when u keep trying to be stubborn even though the Facts are there and when everything is already on the table and u still have to deny then u are escaping reality

U kept saying that he is not such a person. Even when he confessed everything to me.

What to do. I give up telling u nicely.
Sometimes ppl drown themselves in a world which they WANT to live in. Is it too cruel for me to pull u out before u keep sinking in deeper?

He played u but since u refused to believe and keep cooking up reasons to protect ur image of him, what can I do right? I already did my part.

U are stubborn and don't wish to
Listen to anyone advice and keep giving excuses which u always say is not excuses. Being deluded what else can I do right? :(

I feel sad and wonder if this is how people get mental when the person confess their wrong in front of the person.

Yeah, just let her live in her own world then. At least she is living :)

its ok

its rather amazing.
old ones moved on. new ones come.

=D its ok, no point trying too hard. anyway, i am happy right now with so many friends caring for me. its ok, i tell myself. life IS LIKE THAT. no point grumbling and not loving whatever you have now just because u are sad that u lost the past things.

no point wondering why it turned out this way, no point wondering if everything would be fine. because everytime i wonder, i always feel sad?

shld i?
doesnt matter, when ppl need favours they will come directly to u. let's see, who stayed?
oh crap. its just ...

DOESNT MATTER, like what ppl always say, if god wants them out of your life, think twice before chasing them back into your life because u may never know if they meant well anw.


JNZL

those hidden thoughts which are hidden from you

my drama ost!


dear diary,
i am a very hardworking girl who is motivated to do all my work independently and require no one to push me nor anyone needed to accompany me. i accomplished one of my life goals which is to be dependent on no one for self achievement.

forallthetimeforallthetearsiamthankfuligottogothroughyourupsanddownsbecauseitsnottrueifonlyitwasforthegoodtimes.

but i would be happier if i cld slim down now. LOL. cooking ramen while typing this. -__-

JNZL

melanine ronald and cherry chocs

 after LAUGHING LIKE GILA with melaine on viber it just makes me so happy and miss those random calls from friends just to talk and laugh. doesnt matter when or if u have no topic to talk about.

this is my most HUMAN MOMENT. we were talking literally nonsense. but these nonsense will be memories which will always be in my mind. laughing is destressing laughing relieves you from many things. makes u a much more happier or crappy funny person.

dragon = no brains.
i always laughed with my tutees about funny stuff. life shld be treated seriously but in times when you are so caught up with studies or work. laughing at anything is just better than nothing.

after those laughing moments, i watched so many youtubes. inkigayo and updates frm my subscribes.
i am loving this sad emo nemo song.
maybe its the impossible that makes the heart breaks. maybe its the fear of losing something which you treasure which doesnt even belongs to you makes my heart sinks a little. maybe its the fear of being sunk in thoughts that makes me study so hard. maybe its the longing that i fear so i choose to escape and not thinking about it. maybe its the fear of all of them tgt may just as well eat me inside out so therefore, i always put all my thoughts on hold and been escaping .

i never ever wanted to escape this much in life. the usual occupy urself with work and never feel sorry for yourself. in life there are always irrtational thinking which may just ruin oneself and the rationale part may just refuse to sink in no matter how irrational the thoughts are. thoughts are just thoughts and dreams are really non existent.

if all i could ask for was a wish. i would wish that i had wiser when i was younger, now and forever.
because the wise ones always always always know what to do. cherry chocs =)
JNZL

a penny for your thoughts? how abt a wig?

in this era, I DISCOVERed. ACTUALLY getting PERFECT HAIR is as easy as 1-2-3

step 1: buy wig
step2: wear wig
step 3: show off.

i found out a shop that sells these awesome wigs! hassle free and next time when i go work. sorry hor. WILL always wear wig. u think i dun want to sleep more ah. got time to blow hair, style hair and not called messy?! nah.. stick to new methods la.

and not like SUPER EXPENSIVE like $200 or what. its affordable to me! shall do that 8 mths later.
-__- now studying no guys to attract so no need so ma fan.

ANYWAY
my dad just gave me an ultimatum.
either i weigh in of 58kg 8 mths later or else he refuses to pay my last sem sch fees. LIKE WTF?!
so i am stressed up all over again and thus leads to bleeding.

I AM DAM STRESS. u just dont understand what kind of predicament i am in. exercise everyday. got so easy or not. arghH! i need a wig. like NOW. -_-

my bday present all just buy me a wig can? sms me la then i tell u where to buy. hehehehehe.
JNZL

frog bloop bloop

i am in a swimming fever right now and i really take swimming into an interesting sports. btw i have successfully learned breast stroke in one day! AWESOME RIGHT. it was because i wanted to be independent and really not lie on ppl for strength to do sports and be a self-motivator.

i talk like i am some adam khoo big ass person. lol no la its just lena who reminds me constantly that by relying on friends to join u just so u move ur ass to work out isnt really gonna help since friends and u have different schedules so just go do it urself you know.

and so i did. went to the swimming pool alone for the first time and did mini 30 laps. so 40mins i was done with it. and since i was in a calm mood i hate splattering water. -__- so i need the calm frog style movements and it so happens to be the one that burns fats the most, second of butterfly of course. SCREW BUTTERFLY. and i enjoyed it because its so quiet u see.

so since literally i dun think anyone really wants to teach me how to propel myself, since each man for his own you know.

i did my own googling and found out that you need to close ur feets faster, dun bobble ur head (excessive movements) . i didnt even know need to close feet lor wtf. since this is my 3rd time swimming i consider myself quite successful since i swam 25 competition laps. its fucking long PLEASE. i was sad tht ppl can propel themselves faster and i like move like a snail.

so ppl swim one lap finish i still half a lap. (no one taught me pls) my only lesson was when i was primary 3, 4 my father taught me twice. -_____- 

OF COURSE MY MUSCLES ACHE LIKE WANNA DIE. NO JOKE. ask mom buy muscle cream she say: what is muscle cream i never see or heard of it before.

but she bought it before pls. fml.

irritated max. so anw, i shall swim and run . after swimming eat apple. BO BIAN. than drink one small cup of hot milo. FUCK MILO ALSO CANNOT DRINK WANT ME DIE IS IT.

so sad lor when i posted on fb and my friend immediately commented that because i drank one cup on milo all my efforts are wasted.

HE EVEN SAY women fat can say pregnant but man hard to decieve others.

i want to bitch slap him but i know he doesnt really mean it. STILL!!! 

so gonna be nice and eat proper dinner sleep well exercise well .

oh swimming makes u gain muscles . 0.0 to burn fats la but.... AI YA IF i always exercise no need worry muscles turn to fats right.. see i always very positive .

JNZL

ya da ya da

november is here. sch sem ends and by nov 8 , my new sem wld have started.
this time round the modules are getting harder, forseen headaches.

with november comes pressure. my dad has been yaking non stop .
ok next.  i really wanna buy new specs lei. stop taking taxi start waking up early keep exercising. ppl say losing weight is addictive. ok wait till i get to tht stage then i will inform u.

i wanna buy pretty clothes for sch. =( i wanna buy new bag for sch =( i wanna buy new shoes for sch =( i wanna -__- fine shall start with new specs.
JNZL