Lies of love embraced to survive

Deep down the white lies are just to protect my own pride. When asked, how cld I bear to listen to my own answers when the expectations frm you are heading the opposite ways. I just can't bear to tell you how I really felt.

I just realized after much pondering that the "new one" wld probably be "just another one".

It's because of my new found self that I am so relaxed about it. Even though flaws are fiercely obvious.

Deep down I feel like I am just closing both eyes and just walking blindly. Telling myself to not worry and just continue.

Probably we won't even have a chance to quarrel. The problem lies with what is there to quarrel. Do you understand ? That I just feel "forget it".

A smart person is required. I can't be talking about feelings and needs the whole time right?

There are also limits to how much I can ask you. So what now?

Like, if I ask a person what is the story of Beethoven and Mozart. Wld u be able to tell me?

If I ask about gadgets would u be well informed to answer my questions?

If I ask about the world problems would u be able to answer me?

I am such a curious girl. If you can't satisfy my thirst for knowledge, then how can we last?

When I am in the arms of yours I always felt secure. But in the arms of another, it feels off and because of this hidden void I never wished to show, and because of this void I never want you to know, I always tell myself that

THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE. Which currently is studies , weight. Isn't it sad that I am no longer giving love a care? How can I ever tell it to anyone.

Words from the heart

Is there anything you don't wish for me to do?

You can do anything. As long as you are happy I am also happy.

When 2 people are in love , we must believe in each other.

Haha

keep things under wraps

There are so many things in my life that i have to keep it under wraps.
until when nature thinks the time is right, people will naturally know.

i always wanted to show off the things i have and not be secretive but i guess this is really not happening to me in this life.

mostly its about emotions and expressing them.
but i gave away my secrets to mel which currently knows everything which is going on. well, i am just a very private person and i just don't feel safe telling others when they are so judgmental.

i need a person who looks 2 sides of everything. people have been telling me such negative comments that even i feel negative. but i hate it.

i always love looking at the positive outlook. so many articles kept saying the bad but hey! some were so positive. everyone looks at beauty differently.

but mel knows deep down its really deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep (ok u get it)
down inside me that stills stand still.

like i am only giving my outer shell and some of my insides.
but again, i can't tell you about it because you will again reprimand me so what the hell for right.

its not wounds but its kind of like deep down i know, its still there refuse to evaporate. wth .
so i can only think and of course, show the world that i am moving on. -___-

i don't think time can make it go away or make it fade but its so horrible for me to be like this. like one sided. so of course keep it deep down inside me.

like people always say why be someone else second when u can be someone else first right?
(tht's crap la)

but the main point is, while waiting for something that is not very possible , i shall... enjoy things that are possible.

anw, weird people are attracted to me i swear. not weird but extreme ppl. who are nice and sweet but...
LOL WHEN I TELL U , THEN U WILL UNDERSTAND.

till then, remember. keep it under wraps. hide hide hide u know?


JNZL