trust me. your heart doesn't belong to you.
whoever said it does probably felt happier lying to you.
JNZL
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Sunday, May 12, 2013
unknowingly it began
what makes me feel upside down?
it was the tall orders that i placed, believing that it would all fall in place.
i didnt mind the nitty bitty.
but i can't instill my own world of logics onto others.
then i thought for a moment.. hesitating comes deep within, because there are unforeseen future that u may not know what u might say, might just change the whole thing.
because there was this long period of time that if i hesitated and not speaking up, it made things a little better.
well till now actually. it made me bottle up all of my heart wrenching questions or remarks. it was killing me inside of course. but the irony of human is when u chose for me to verbalize it but yet u failed to see or feel how i felt, too often the other flies into a denial mode.
it made me re-think and re-think of how easy and fake a good conversation can flow if one means nothing to you. so why is it hard to communicate with one that means something to you?
well logically, one will be naturally be afraid of losing the one that mean something.
maybe a unbreakable curse that binds a promise with the seal of life of the other would be an excellent invention.
-feel me deeper, even deeper and that is where your answer lies.
JNZL
Sunday, May 5, 2013
written sentiments
this is a little part of me, but what am i talking about.
everything here is all a part of me.
when i was listening to some music i felt something in me that felt a little happy.
its like a feeling of feeling glad.
for all those lovers out there, everyone does knows that moving on from someone so dear is like tearing a piece flesh from ur own heart. have u ever felt like u could stop breathing just because ur heart felt so crushed and that you are just all alone in your room. that letting go someone u always cared for so that your life can be better. that ur heart wrenches just because u know u used all your willpower to tear urself away. that it will be the final time u gave ur all, and that all u are going to do is to wish all the best because u knew u were just not good enough. uttering goodbye that pierce the silence deep within u.
all of these happened in my thoughts, although the exterior was just nothing more than closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. its just that helpless, knowing that the other just simply won't understand what you felt. knowing that words are just a waste of breath, when words can't express how you felt, u heart aches even more. (at this moment i stopped typing, to think ) did you ever realise when you gave ur all and there is really nothing more that u can give. u ... u are just neglecting your own needs, which is the first place should be a priority.
since people always say that in this earth , we are all trying to survive.
then again, as time passes and when u felt your desperate prayer came true, you will realise that you were wise not to drown urself in whiskey, not to do stupid things and u were glad u were level-headed to be calm and realised when you asked for the right things, the universe will give you what u asked for... ( thank god i finally wished otherwise)
ok that was just pure surge of emotions. its this song (just a fool) that ignites my current past (does it make sense?) probably u will cry with me if u played this song and reads my post.
but u see, there is always something good.
I am sure everyone had a warming meal. my most warming meal was when i ate at my friend's house for lunch and i felt teary eyed because the whole family felt so united and so warm.
now, this is something everyone takes for granted who those lucky ones. when this meal arrived, i was wondering what was in the bag since everything was unknown. well even most of the above were new to me, there is something in this meal that is so very heart warming.
i simply smiled to myself as i was eating on the melts. it wasn't something big, it wasn't something fancy but its enough. and of course, everyone knows that you sleep the soundest when you feel good and secure. i had a good one.
but however that person fell sick...
JNZL
everything here is all a part of me.
when i was listening to some music i felt something in me that felt a little happy.
its like a feeling of feeling glad.
for all those lovers out there, everyone does knows that moving on from someone so dear is like tearing a piece flesh from ur own heart. have u ever felt like u could stop breathing just because ur heart felt so crushed and that you are just all alone in your room. that letting go someone u always cared for so that your life can be better. that ur heart wrenches just because u know u used all your willpower to tear urself away. that it will be the final time u gave ur all, and that all u are going to do is to wish all the best because u knew u were just not good enough. uttering goodbye that pierce the silence deep within u.
all of these happened in my thoughts, although the exterior was just nothing more than closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. its just that helpless, knowing that the other just simply won't understand what you felt. knowing that words are just a waste of breath, when words can't express how you felt, u heart aches even more. (at this moment i stopped typing, to think ) did you ever realise when you gave ur all and there is really nothing more that u can give. u ... u are just neglecting your own needs, which is the first place should be a priority.
since people always say that in this earth , we are all trying to survive.
then again, as time passes and when u felt your desperate prayer came true, you will realise that you were wise not to drown urself in whiskey, not to do stupid things and u were glad u were level-headed to be calm and realised when you asked for the right things, the universe will give you what u asked for... ( thank god i finally wished otherwise)
ok that was just pure surge of emotions. its this song (just a fool) that ignites my current past (does it make sense?) probably u will cry with me if u played this song and reads my post.
but u see, there is always something good.
 |
| it was indeed very warming |
I am sure everyone had a warming meal. my most warming meal was when i ate at my friend's house for lunch and i felt teary eyed because the whole family felt so united and so warm.
now, this is something everyone takes for granted who those lucky ones. when this meal arrived, i was wondering what was in the bag since everything was unknown. well even most of the above were new to me, there is something in this meal that is so very heart warming.
i simply smiled to myself as i was eating on the melts. it wasn't something big, it wasn't something fancy but its enough. and of course, everyone knows that you sleep the soundest when you feel good and secure. i had a good one.
but however that person fell sick...
JNZL
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