wt

i will never ever forget her.
for screwing up my life.

even if i did screw hers up , i still insist she screwed mine much worse.

she started it all.
then she forced me to a world of pure shock and with curiosity filling up to the top of my head.

then she avoided me. she ignored me. she told the world, my world tht she and i are no longer "we" and it is now me and her. yup no more we.

ppl came askin . i hav no answers either.
its like she suddenly left my world and swiftly built up a world for her to live in.
it was distinct.
everyone could tell.

since everything had its first. this was my first too.
being told what she would do before it all started. seems like a movie. but how come i didnt need to pay a ticket to enter? why am i not the audience?

many times i wondered if i was over-reacting.
my heart told me i was not.
if so , then why must i go through all these? no one knows.

no matter how hard life is for her after the incident, no matter how much she suffered.
she deserved it.

how could i forgive her .
forgive her for making me realise how cruel reality is?
forgive her for making realise tht the only thing tht is permanent is when u lost something?

its been fours years now and counting.
i will nv forget nor will i forgive.

for all these time i have never once forget.
never. never.

the internet did not made me rememeber more.
its just my brain.

yes. this is me tht u are friends with.
but i shall not stop my friends for be-friending her.

its of course not ok for me . even the slightest birthday wishes irkes me.
i know i am pathetic. who cares.


JNZL