waiting for rain to arrive

I am definetly not in the cheerist mood and neither am i in a neutral mood.

i am feeling as what it looks like in the pic.

I AM WAITING FOR RAIN.

i have been holding this umbrella since i was in J1, then came J2, and finally the day of A lvls results.

i have always been waiting for this downpour.

i have never been soooo pessimistic abt getting results before.

for o lvls. i was totally cool abt it because i knew my results shld be ard there. AND IT HAPPENED!

MY RESULTS WAS REALLY ard there~

for now comes the irritating part.

SO dam many ppl told me i would be alright and stuff. some didnt .

Cs and Ds.... wtf. go where with it.

i dunno , the more i think the more i think my econs would get an U or S.

i really just cant swallow it that if i am not being able to make it into a local Uni, i will have to repeat.

WHAT!?

and i cant repeat in MJC. (is it a blessing?)

so maybe in other jc? WAIT CAN I EVEN REPEAT in a sch? -.-

even if poly was an alternative, i would have spent 5 yrs studying and then not even sure if i can enter tht HOLY uni.

crap to the max.

i seriously wish for good results....

and better tht i would not hav to open tht dam exam slip.

i was thinking.

what if my lye gave me a sigh... gave me a "i'm so sorry joey" look.

i can literally just rip the slip there.

you dont know how sad i am actually feeling right now.

not nervous because of my results but actually what would happen after i open them.

would i cry?would i look normal?would i just laugh it off? would i feel angry? would i want to sleep?

efforts put in felt as though i didnt even make an effort.

life really sucks for now.

leave it to the hands of fate?

what fate .... the results is set already.

JNZL