I have Learnt

I have learnt to let go what makes me weaker. I have not Learnt to have the courage to end it myself.

So if you can't help me to be a better person, there is no point in making me feel bad and sad. Just do me a favour and end my sufferings for me.

Help me to be a happier person.

If you can't accept my all, then I am not sure if I can do anything more.

To accept someone , even if there is a limit, to accept one for all the flaws u hate or detest. To make yourself understand that this is who the person is. So the mentality should be like, "if the person changes , it's awesome, of the person doesn't change, it's ok because I have accepted the person for who the person is"

I always know That I am insufficient and I myself feel helpless too! People just don't know how helpless I really feel.

People always think that i don't want to change. But it's so hard. I wasn't given any encouragement . All I got was mere criticism and criticism can only get me that far.

Like if u keep telling me even though I tell u to stop, it's just make me feel that you don't really have the best interest for me.

Guide me, do not just know how to critise, guiding means showing the person the way it should be done and why. But if you just critise and not guide, how much help are you actually helping me?

These are my unspoken words which I can't communicate it to u. It makes me feel helpless because you don't understand.

People also always say that if you yourself are insufficient shouldn't u also not just critise people but help people ? Becase you yourself know how insufficient you are hence you also know how it feels like to be critised again and again and feel helpless. So how would you want people to help you? This is also the way that you should approach people.

He kept saying I am like a child like 5-10 years old, or that even a child would think better than me. It's so hurting and I always try to change. I need gentle reminders. I do not need scoldings.

But then again maybe some actions are meant to be. If everyone understood what they should do, the world would be perfect and the world is not . It would never be.

So I learnt from people,
They taught me that I need to self psycho myself by saying:"I am bigger than tht."
To nearly every bad thing.
I am bigger than people who hates on me. I am bigger than people who fails to understand Me. I am bigger than people who puts me down in life. I am bigger than that.

For people who fail to love me as a person as I am, I am bigger than that because I know I should accept how people think of me.

I should let go of the things I can't change and hang on to the things that I myself can change.

Because by doing this I can make myself feel better. I need to feel better because I only have one life to live and if I live in tears and sadness it would be just wasting my life.

I know what it means that in life , u need sufferings to enjoy the good things in life. But if I can personally choose to have more joy, isn't it stupid of me to choose pain?

But humans are so stupid. The truly wise ones may not exist. I am pretty sure lee bai is a sad person. But what else can I say?

In conclusion, I can say that if I finally think I deserve better then that's the time I would get what I deserve. LIKE LITERALLY.