Looked down

You know, I have reflected and realise those ppl who are close to me are one by one looking down on me and I am totally fine if they don't tell me.

However thts not what happen. Actually only one told me and the rest, well I just sensed . Anw I read so many bloggers blogging abt how great they spent their break but I spent mine well too just tht one whole day was spent snoring at hm.

You know how awful I feel when ppl call me weak in the face and tht I am not strong anymore. How awful to feel when ppl just think tht u r probably goin to earn some fucking low paying jobs and all these are said to me in the face and the person still thinks it's ok to say it.

Being frank was not nice. The ugly truth I guess.

It's not tht I want ppl hopes to get high but hearing ppl telling you all these frm someone whom you love feels hurting.

And you know,
When crying doesn't even make anyone pity u, it's really a dam sad case.

Ppl are just numb to it and start spitting sarcastic remarks and thinking it's encouraging.

I mean like no matter how many fucking times I cry the pain is the same.

SINCE WHEN THERE WAs a theroy tht Says tht the amount of times a girl cries is directly inproportional to how sad she feels.

Being numb isn't an excuse.
I feel to stupid.
Anw I help a cat today from 11 floor to 1 floor and I let the cat take lift.

If anyone knows. I really dislike cats but however after I brought her down and spent like 2 hrs trying to feed her an apple but no cats can appreciate my effort. Dam it

So I even carried her to some place warm to sleep like the mats used for prayers and blablabla.

Ok Anyway, I cannot take insults and ppl love me lesser plus ppl hate me more and once again I suck.

I will try to change but I need some bleach to do the job since someone said a leopard nv changes it spots .

So I thought bleach may help.