THINGS to note

Most people hide their suffering better than you think, you pass dozens of people a day on the street without any idea how well they’re wearing their tragedies.

1. Most people love quite helplessly, despite what they would have you believe.
2. For a lot of people, music is a reflection of who they are and their relationship to life. Remember that before insulting someone’s favorite band.
3. If you tell a man about your problems, he assumes you want some sort of help or advice. If you tell a woman about your problems, she assumes you simply want a shoulder to cry on. Women rarely want to be told what to do about a problem, and men rarely want to be coddled through a hard time.
4. For most people religion is a social commitment more than a spiritual one.
5. Life often works in reverse. People treat strangers more politely than their family or friends. People will ask a friend’s band to play their party for free, will call their best girlfriend to come over and cut their hair without a thought to payment, but would never dream of calling a mechanic they found in the phonebook and asking them to donate their time and labor to fix a broken down car.
6. When you insult or offend someone, always admit it and apologize promptly, even if it wasn’t your intention or you had no idea. It is always better to be a penitent villain than to appear so socially inept as to not recognize when you’ve hurt the people around you. An evil genius is someone to bring to your side, a blundering fool is someone to keep as far away from you as possible.

By Sovereign Syre.

JNZL

russian roulette

i dunno why nowadays i love to post youtube vids.
doesnt matter if ppl dun click on it.

i totally forgotten abt someone's blog which i always looked forward everytime when i was in JC.
to make it discreet, her name starts with S.

today , at 4.43am i dunnow what happen which made me suddenly remember her blog.
and i was reading her post one by one.

felt tht it had meaning in everything she said.
may be big words may be logic, may be other things.
it doesnt matter.

all of it happens to make me a better person.
read a mag called "HOT"
LOVE ANGELA JOLIE for being such a wonderful person. for being who she was. being truthful to ppl that surrounds you.

it hurts too deep to recall again.for the zillion times in my life. for this .  i have to say.

FUCK MY LIFE.

 be who you are and live your life like it should be, there are no other way round.
i always believe in that.

never waste life and try to say you love your life instead of fml.
i know its hard, but even the africans ppl are grateful to life when they have so little.

i always think that it would be the realest moment i could ever exp if i was just by their side doing salvation.

you know u cant change the world.
just do your part and it will do yourself good.

i always felt my life was like a game of russian roulette.
first bang 'didnt die' and you will nv know if the next stone which you fall may jolly well kill u.

i had

1st bang(f)
2nd bang (w)
3rd bang (J)

and i am not dead yet.
take a breath, close your eyes.
he said it may help.

like a blind man walking in the daylight with all the unknown and remember, dont fall again.
it may kill u the next time.

JNZL

tiffy

i always love to introduce singers who are fab but yet u all sill dunno of.
she's tiffany frm north america.

she's my absolute love for slow and calm music..
jazzy.

i love her beyonce covers.
beat tht.



JNZL

tsk

to someone so dear and special to me when i was in sec sch, for everything you have done for all the things i have done to u i m sorry.

it feels just like yest when u came my hse to wake me up to go airport to study. it feels just like yest when i scolded you for not studying. ( ha!)

it feels like yest when i kept reading ur hp and doing things to it.

thanks for all the extreme sacrifice u did for me even if i did (oh! so many bad things to you)

I AM SO SORRY THT I KEPT FORGETTING YOUR BIRTHDAY(vic's birthday too)

i feel guilty to the max.
like maximum.

so this birthday, i am going to get you a present and maybe doing something special if i have the time.
and its just days away and yes, i am panicking.

i know u dun read my blog cause u keep forgetting the add or smthing.
=)

keeps my fingers cross.


JNZL

memories tht i hate to remember.

i was thinking, how my parents felt abt everything right now. is it still ok? is it still alright? i love my dad, but i dunno how to tell him i feel abt everything. he is a old man alrdy ,so i dun think there is anything tht can make up for everthing tht i went thru.back to the lonely days with only post sticks and the mini white boards tht tells me instructions.

back to those days when i sat at a corner eating milo.sitting in the fridge drinking hl milk frm the bottle.

so i was thinking. if everything was still the same, wld it be better?
either way, my life still wld be ...

so back to those pri lonely, empty nights. when there was no difference btw day and night. the ambience is still the same.

i am the strongest when no one is ard me for me to fall on.
when i am the youngest, i was the maturest, the most logical and sensible human being.
i cant believe how strong i was at a tender age.

i cant believe how i hated ppl seein me cry when i was young.thinking back, i just didnt want my crys to hurt or burden my parents.

oh my grandma too.
i remembered how i cling onto my mum's leg when i was too lonely.
i remembered spamming phone calls to girlfriends when i was too lonely.
i remembered how sad i felt when my guy friend told me how ppl think i sucks and i kept tearing but i still asked him to continue. wtf was i thinking.

i still remembered how my chi teacher asked if i was ok cause i hang out in the mall alone walking in circles.

what consoles me now because ppl with past are able to create great things.
no idea how but better than nth.

sometimes i get so fed up i wish god wld just give me a wishing wand or maybe be a vamp? -.-
k fine.





i so wanna play these two songs on my guitar.
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JNZL

lookin at my own life.

Finally i hav no more 9-6pm work at cimb.
thanks for hc for treating me tcc~
and cy for brining us ard to ashtons and ice monster.

haha no elaborated celebrations which is good.
sad thing is tht right after my work i had tuition. so i was feeling sticky, sweaty, tired and itchy.

i was so fed up with it all and just really truly wanted a gd break from all these.

let me hav time to do my simple pleasures in life
like putting mask on my face ( which i have no done any since i started tuitioning ppl.
and i had NO TIME to play my beloved guitar.

i was so dam busy balancing my work and social life.

i was stress arranging timings too.

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AFTER-LIFE

well , today i had my small wish sort of fulfilled .i slept till 11am (after opening door for dionne and chatted a while , i dozed off till 1pm)

i slept at 3am yest and i woke up late on a weekday and feels so happy abt it.
[i think it was because of overwhelming stress my period came late]

haha, went to submit our acceptence offer to the uni and was a MESS~~

me and dionne decided to eat maggi before leaving and my maggi mee bowl dropped!!!
freakin heng didnt hit my guitar which was 20cm away. thank god for tht.

nth was touced by my kimchi soup (heng my guitar bk was spared]
so me and dionne cleaned up the whole place and we were sweating. if u guys didnt know i havent touch a mop for like a yr?! anyway, i did the cleaning which was mopping and thank god no ants came

`side track a little
WTF! GOT ANTS IN MY HAMMY BOWL.
haha!! dionne said because my hse really  nth to eat so bo bian must go to my hammi food bowl. WTH LA! HAHAHA

funny thing dionne said when we FINALLY left the hse and she forgot to bring the umbrella which i reminded her to!
and it drizzle!
'WHO SAID NEGATIVE PLUS NEGATIVE = positive?!"

this is due to me saying" i think i am suay and u are suay so we combo suay! " haha
or maybe her suay-ness overcame my gd luck and vice versa.

so she was like havin a breakdown frm stress and my epic life doesnt end with tht.
cause u see if we didnt eat our lunch at hm, me and dionne wld hav went out of the hse vvv early.


of course a typical J-O-E-Y friend would be of no surprise with this post of mine.
oh ya, on the day i left CIMB, i wald into the guys toilet w/o realizing until i heard hc keep shouting at me! and i was super pai sei

well, today happened again! i ALMOST went into the gys toilet. shit thme, the freaking sign soo bloody small!! cannot differentiate pls!
haha, and many more funny things happened today.

so it was a day filled with laughter because all these are memories which i will laugh at when i get old and they are sweet~
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today i had my offical 2nd guitar lesson with ren. it felt empty w/o m.e to laugh tgt.
anyway, i was super stress until i felt like my diahhorea was coming.

1. i had not touched my guiatr until just which is before my maggie mee.

2. i felt i had disappoint him because i promised i would practice.

3. i cant memorize those harder cords well enough.

4. i was always feeling shy and nervous just before meeting him with no reasons why.

and so it began..
he emphasized that he felt tht my bestie had been practicing hard and tht her finger tips was flat so he could see.

well, the truth is she did practiced more. but i really had no time to practice, which made me feel so sad cause he thought i was just lazy.

well, the point is i get hm like 10-11pm everyday and first thought was just shower and slp or a little tv.
i was upset with myself tht i cant practice. but i felt so yuan wang tht i just didnt say anything any more and i was putting up 200% of concentration to make up for my lost practising time.

i didn't want to appear complain-y to him. i didn't want to be seem lazy.


i was so stress and focus tht i had difficulty breathing cause at times i made mistakes and wanted it to be perfect. and the pain frm pressing the guitar hard because i wanted the notes to be projected out nicely and not wasting time trying to press it harder.

so everytime i press the steel /metal strings i really used all my strength and even if it felt pain, i continued and at times when it was unbearable i quietly use my other fingers to massage it and i was back to playing.

well things turned out well, and he praised me! which student doesnt wants to be praised.haha

dionne was sitting nxt to me all the time and i told her all my worries and stress and i really frowned and focus all i could for the 2 hrs i was there.

psst" he asked me to learn how to tune and i broke a guiatr string'
INFRONT OF EVERYBODY.

oh god.
tht's when the stress piles up.
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lastly, life is just like the swings, it goes up down up down up and down.
no one can control you if your morals thinks the opposite.

but if deep down you had the same thoughts as the manipulator , then you will be manipulated .

In life we assume we know everything,
like we assume we know their thoughts when we see someone havin an affair,
like we assume we know what is really going on when you see someone gets beaten up.

WE ARE ALWAYS JUDING PEOPLE, no matter how neutral one can be.
everyone judges everyone. so who are we to say that we dont like to be judged when we judge other ppl by their actions.

So in life i stopped walking at a fast speed and we pause for a  moment to judge our own life.
The thing is even when looking at our own life and realizing what we shouldnt do, we still continue to do it willingly.

what a big irony in life.
we are not even capable of understanding ourselves.

HA!what a joke.

JNZL