Finally i hav no more 9-6pm work at cimb.
thanks for hc for treating me tcc~
and cy for brining us ard to ashtons and ice monster.
haha no elaborated celebrations which is good.
sad thing is tht right after my work i had tuition. so i was feeling sticky, sweaty, tired and itchy.
i was so fed up with it all and just really truly wanted a gd break from all these.
let me hav time to do my simple pleasures in life
like putting mask on my face ( which i have no done any since i started tuitioning ppl.
and i had NO TIME to play my beloved guitar.
i was so dam busy balancing my work and social life.
i was stress arranging timings too.
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AFTER-LIFE
well , today i had my small wish sort of fulfilled .i slept till 11am (after opening door for dionne and chatted a while , i dozed off till 1pm)
i slept at 3am yest and i woke up late on a weekday and feels so happy abt it.
[i think it was because of overwhelming stress my period came late]
haha, went to submit our acceptence offer to the uni and was a MESS~~
me and dionne decided to eat maggi before leaving and my maggi mee bowl dropped!!!
freakin heng didnt hit my guitar which was 20cm away. thank god for tht.
nth was touced by my kimchi soup (heng my guitar bk was spared]
so me and dionne cleaned up the whole place and we were sweating. if u guys didnt know i havent touch a mop for like a yr?! anyway, i did the cleaning which was mopping and thank god no ants came
`side track a little
WTF! GOT ANTS IN MY HAMMY BOWL.
haha!! dionne said because my hse really nth to eat so bo bian must go to my hammi food bowl. WTH LA! HAHAHA
funny thing dionne said when we FINALLY left the hse and she forgot to bring the umbrella which i reminded her to!
and it drizzle!
'WHO SAID NEGATIVE PLUS NEGATIVE = positive?!"
this is due to me saying" i think i am suay and u are suay so we combo suay! " haha
or maybe her suay-ness overcame my gd luck and vice versa.
so she was like havin a breakdown frm stress and my epic life doesnt end with tht.
cause u see if we didnt eat our lunch at hm, me and dionne wld hav went out of the hse vvv early.
of course a typical J-O-E-Y friend would be of no surprise with this post of mine.
oh ya, on the day i left CIMB, i wald into the guys toilet w/o realizing until i heard hc keep shouting at me! and i was super pai sei
well, today happened again! i ALMOST went into the gys toilet. shit thme, the freaking sign soo bloody small!! cannot differentiate pls!
haha, and many more funny things happened today.
so it was a day filled with laughter because all these are memories which i will laugh at when i get old and they are sweet~
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today i had my offical 2nd guitar lesson with ren. it felt empty w/o m.e to laugh tgt.
anyway, i was super stress until i felt like my diahhorea was coming.
1. i had not touched my guiatr until just which is before my maggie mee.
2. i felt i had disappoint him because i promised i would practice.
3. i cant memorize those harder cords well enough.
4. i was always feeling shy and nervous just before meeting him with no reasons why.
and so it began..
he emphasized that he felt tht my bestie had been practicing hard and tht her finger tips was flat so he could see.
well, the truth is she did practiced more. but i really had no time to practice, which made me feel so sad cause he thought i was just lazy.
well, the point is i get hm like 10-11pm everyday and first thought was just shower and slp or a little tv.
i was upset with myself tht i cant practice. but i felt so yuan wang tht i just didnt say anything any more and i was putting up 200% of concentration to make up for my lost practising time.
i didn't want to appear complain-y to him. i didn't want to be seem lazy.
i was so stress and focus tht i had difficulty breathing cause at times i made mistakes and wanted it to be perfect. and the pain frm pressing the guitar hard because i wanted the notes to be projected out nicely and not wasting time trying to press it harder.
so everytime i press the steel /metal strings i really used all my strength and even if it felt pain, i continued and at times when it was unbearable i quietly use my other fingers to massage it and i was back to playing.
well things turned out well, and he praised me! which student doesnt wants to be praised.haha
dionne was sitting nxt to me all the time and i told her all my worries and stress and i really frowned and focus all i could for the 2 hrs i was there.
psst" he asked me to learn how to tune and i broke a guiatr string'
INFRONT OF EVERYBODY.
oh god.
tht's when the stress piles up.
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lastly, life is just like the swings, it goes up down up down up and down.
no one can control you if your morals thinks the opposite.
but if deep down you had the same thoughts as the manipulator , then you will be manipulated .
In life we assume we know everything,
like we assume we know their thoughts when we see someone havin an affair,
like we assume we know what is really going on when you see someone gets beaten up.
WE ARE ALWAYS JUDING PEOPLE, no matter how neutral one can be.
everyone judges everyone. so who are we to say that we dont like to be judged when we judge other ppl by their actions.
So in life i stopped walking at a fast speed and we pause for a moment to judge our own life.
The thing is even when looking at our own life and realizing what we shouldnt do, we still continue to do it willingly.
what a big irony in life.
we are not even capable of understanding ourselves.
HA!what a joke.
JNZL
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