these few days i kept thinking. i kept wondering .
i kept pondering over some gruesome facts which makes my body twitch.

tht's why i seldom blog.
excuses i have been giving to people are quite rubbish.to cover up my mess.

i lied to my teacher, i lied to my mates, i dun even know how to face those teachers when they confront me on monday demading to know why the hell i never attend those lects.

for me, i just wanted to shut the shit world out. like really OUT.
the phone calls and smses just won't let go of me.

i think, i hav a record of sj, cal, SX plus glenn calling me on the same day just to ask me out for bowling.

i wanted to go so much. but my head just want to have some alone time to let myself rot to the bottom of the pit.

i can imagine the convo they had. like "eh u call her la."haha.
it must be the trauma that those papers left me.

i am pretty freaked out that yes! i didn't attend those post-morterm lects.
which is going through of ans.

I AM SO SORRY. and yes. i SKIPPED phys SRP too.i am sorry too.
i was too overwhelmed.

T-T
------------------------------------------------

let me think alright?!

the future seem so full of sunshine. but wait a sec, why won't the eclipse so away?
why is it tht i can't see myself anymore.

what is happening?
determination.discipline.decision.

i have the will to fight.
how abt this ppl.

i shall do my work diligently in the tampines lib and never go home before its done.
sounds good?

i am going to buy the yoga mat. not for doing yoga.



fear may strike the heart and conscience a million times,
but the truth is, unless you cried, you'll never truly understand the meaning of the word F-E-A-R.

REMEMBER.CONSTANT FEAR IS REQUIRED TO GET THINGS DONE THE HARD WAY.

but wait.
arn't we suppose to overcome our fears?

i told you this is an oxymoron world.
I TOLD YOU SO.

JNZL