yeah! my birthday is coming!!
plus i got soo many things tht i want to get!!!
hope i get all of it.
ok it seems impossible. -.-
macbook and mac pro: i am currently hoping in my heart tht my dad would be gracious enough to pay half the price. totally thinks he wont. dam!!! so i will need to save 3 mths to be able to buy!
T-T
sims3 : well since i AM getting a mac, sims3 mac version seems soo alluring!
DS lite: btw if u guys havent known a new dsi LL had came out in japan! it cost 20 000 yen which is 319 sing dollars. T-T plus the battery life lesser than ds lite!weight plus thinkness got larger.
done some research, conclude DS lite is much better!
ok , after like my birthday and i get no DS, i think its gonna come out from my pocket! T-T
i cost $168.maybe i nego with friends so tht i can pay less? ok my dad got to puke out money for my DS lite if he is not into my proposal for my mac. T-T....
i like ds cause of its girlish games. HAHAHA
i want to get a NEW wallet!!!
see i only want these items, i nt greedy hor! >.>
anw, dionne bought her macbook pro le!
all thanks to me!! hope she sees this lol!!!
yeah! more ppl starts to appreciate mac products!!
JNZL
oh my god, today or rather tonight i am going to say sorry to a few people i think i have let down sooo much despite them tolerating me the best tht they can.
rudi
my dearest person , every time you overlooked how i have mistreat you in the past and in the present , constantly letting me bully you and taking it all in without complaining how much it hurts. sorry for me standing you up for these past few days, i dunno wth got into me.
sorry for scolding you and not wanting you to scold me back.
sorry for acting like a sloth and move like one too.
sorry for all the heartache i brought to you and it is so sweet of you to try your hardest to please me.
sorry for being a bitch at many times and sorry for physically hurting you .
all those kicks at the shin and accidentally stepping on your feet and pinching you a little (i know it hurts) when i didnt like what you were saying
thanks for tolerating me and i love you for that.
Ming En
i am so dam sorry for constantly being late and i know it pisses you off big time.
sorry for the times when i never sms you back. (which is recently)
i also dunno what got into me,i just saw your msg and kept it under my pillow and continue sleeping.
i am also sorry for unable to spend time with you once exams are over.
but we could hang out after my work though its kinda late.
=( =(
i am sooo sorry for sleeping when you / or when with suf were in my hse doing work.
i know its rude and barbaric but i felt so guilty after i saw you leave.
i think it happened twice or thrice.and i thought u would banish the thought of ever studying with me.
i am so sorry ming en!! hope you would forgive me.
sy jia
omgosh. i cant believe i am saying this.
i am so sorry for not attending the bowling meeting!!
i slept for like ages and i went movie instead cause the thought of me carrying the bowling bag is so heavy !
so sorry i didnt contact you after i woke up. sorry..
ger
i am so sorry for not replying your messages too.
i know i am a bad girl. i am so sorry i will change from now on and act responsibly k.
i still love you!
ZHI YONG!!!
wa lao.. i dont think u will see this man. maybe put ur name big big then others will tell you.
ok here goes, zy thanks for the continuous supporting messages tht you sent to me.
but i am going to confess how bad i am here.
i didnt reply to any ok excpt one of your messages!
i am sooo sorryy. i feel so bad, anw i know you mass send la but i still will feel bad what , ok nvm ur birthday next yr give you something nice k!
eh dun sad ah cause not money. HAHAHA.
mum i am sorry for all the awful things i've did to you. i wun say it infront of you. but i cant help myself but to do such things. the only way to stop is to leave you. sad reality.
dionne
sorry for not answering your calls and thos times when i didnt call you back.
i am sorry
I AM SORRY TO MANY OTHER PPL TOO.
but i am glad i said the more severe ones out.
ps: i dreamt that i would have a pet chinchilla in my house and that jolene blog changed website. ok wth the blog is uber random but the pet thing shld be coming from ming en's blog ba. i had this dream when m.e and suf was studying in my hse. -.-
JNZL
Thursday, November 26, 2009
ok there is so much dam shopping to do , come to think of it.
i hate shopping for clothes now.
probably because i am as fat as a dino.
yup no longer a pig.
but i am gonna work it out.
ok tht settles, i need to buy cosmetics cause mine had rot for a yr and clothes for work plus prom!
work is only a day after my exam! wow~
ok today at simei long john i had deep-sea grilled fish
woah the name sounds yummy right and the food would probably taste good.
YOU ARE W-R-O-N-G
it was so hard tht my fork cant poke it through and suf had to usse all his might to cut the dam fish.
well, i asked for an exchanged and the new one looked rather nice. it looked soft.
but guess what. it taste HORRIBLE
HORRIBLE!!!
btw the "hard" fish, i gave it to my block downstairs de cat.
it stink so much tht the cat REFUSED TO EAT THE FISH!
So much for me being caring.
i told suf tht we could do a vid and post it on youtube and the title would be.
cat refuses to eat long john grilled fish.
i think it would be a hit.
but i seriously think i am always doing the wrong things at the wrong time.
always missing those crucial timings.
in this world, where all the hope lies,
i really really want to do something tht is not so ordinary.
people may say it is un wise, people may say i am so totally not up to it.
some people may say i am over-aiming.
is there anybody tht actually believe in me?
is there anyone tht can believe in my not-tht-unrealistic dreams?
in this bed of prickly roses i lay, looking up into the gloomy grey skies ,
just like a small girl, wishing she would see plenty of stars.
instead what she got was mosquitoes bites and cuts from the thorns of reality and those cruel remarks from too realistic people.
where are all those four leaf clovers.
where are all those magic rocks.
because i dun believe in ppl who is always pessimistic and i dont want to.
words cant bring me down from now on. because when i look at the person saying it, i think she is no better than i am and i hope she gets it from other ppl one day.
i always felt i have always never gave my best at many things i do.
major thing? A lvls.
I hv found a job.
ok the job found me thru relatives.
so i am going to work in CIMB (commerence international merchant bankers)
whatever it is, he MAIN POINT would be i start on dec1.
T-T
the contract lasts for 6 mths.
well, work hard now then enjoy later with all the money i earn.
of course i will be sacrificing many happy times with my beloved dumb ass.
but humans are flexible right?
at times, when i step one or two steps back and look ard me, i think the world is fair.
what comes ard comes ard. like seriously.
well , ppl always say the world is unfair as some ppl are well better off than the others, which is an oxymoron because those people who are extraordinary are trying so hard to be ordinary and those ordinary ppl and doing everything they can to be noticed.
-dont always think that the world is only filled with either black or white.
because there are always bound to have grey areas which can only be explained not entirely with logic but with your gut feelings.
i shall focus on a few points out of the tens of points tht had happened in my life recently.
first,
related to the pic, i realise affection for another human being is so short-lived and i must say i am pretty shocked at how fast my attitude changed for tht particular person.
for one min i was like happy and the next, i was like "wtf just happened and do i really deserve tht short insult?"
i told m.e abt it.
she said tht person didnt mean it.
actually i was fuming inside and as rudi knows, when i am angry and i cant express it, i cant breathe.
as in for real. i felt like asking the person why the hell must tht word come out. actually i just felt like walking away to show my anger.
but i told myself tht of all the positive points tht human had , i must not let tht one point destroy it all.
then it happened again.
so i was like ok , the deal's off.
i always see ppl bad points only when they first start to insult me in any way.
even if its just one word.
and guess what. no sorry was heard. ok fair enough tht person didnt know i was fuming.
anw, telling you ppl how my brain works, it somehow make me feel tht the person i used to admire is just some lame ass crap and i of course started to notice those bad points. the way tht human walk, the way tht how boring tht person is and the shape too.
all the bad points just suddenly seemed to be so obvious.
like how come i was a bit like blind .
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok next comes the funny part.
my life is so dam epic tht i ranges frm spilling the largest coke within mins of buying it to spilling $5 worth of smarties to making dionne notes all wet.
to getting all those rubbish instnt prizes of the mac.
to vomitting this morning due to stress or whatever, and i puked out $7.30 worth of breakfast.
and plus to the details like when i did the action of kicking the midget boy who was walking infront of me and when my foot slam down, the next sec the boy was on the floor.
lastly, my teacher still says even her most lousy student did more papers than me.
alrightt..
marcus said to not to be down
THTS WHY TMR I WILL BE GOING TO MY DAD HSE!!
Love him.
love him for everything he tells me.
love his wisdom.
love his love for me.
i love my dad.
---------------
like the wind, nth is ever stationary.
everything changes. just like how i felt abt you. now it changed to the point where i dun really bother.+(
i love these new songs.
some are for you. some are for the other you.
i am so sad my passion for you just didnt go deep enough.
maybe it even went beyond ur skin. but not any where near the bone.if u understand what i mean.
JNZL
i was always wondering if i always made the right choices.
keep thinking if my guesses / hunch were right.
you know what.
after i read S blog, i just realise something so simple which is oh so often forgotten in my life.
every sec spent is a sec lesser .
i also realise that it is impossible to cherish every single moment.
kinda not attainable.
i also realised that it is impossible to thank everybody tht has ever loved me, regardless if it is in a romanic way or as simply as a dam great friend.
it is also impossible to know what impacts you hav made in other's life.
cause some dun tell, some didnt know u changed them.
in any way, it is alwsays the unknown tht is stopping me from counting the ppl tht loved me.
but, i can count the people tht i love.
honestly i am not some saint and i hav to be truthful and say tht i dun love everybody i meet.
i do hate ppl and i do bear grudgs.
i do anti ppl and i do depise ppl .
guess what, i do act as though i am some loving creature tht embraces you for whoever u are.
but i am sorry.
i am just like what everyone said, a HUMAN.
i am imperfect.
but some ppl love my imperfections. ok, only A FEW.
but the main point is, count your blessings , cause it makes life happier.
come to think of it.
