realize.

exams soon to be over, sch would start a week after.
going to start accomplishing my list and i just realise i am always stuck in the same old position. ok maybe i moved forward a little but i am always wish deep deep deep REALLY DEEP down that some of my happy moments are linked to you.

heart quivers and because i am having large hormonal imbalance due to menses. even though i really ate lots of evening primrose oil capsules to prevent this. but it seems it doesnt work.

the unbelieveable thing is that because i started to hear the song "realize" and i just touched a raw nerve plus some other factors which leads to me just bursting out in true blue emotions. like as if really needed to hit on center towards my left side of the chest to have me breathing again.

Its not that i am stuck in the past, or just u know cling. YOU JUST dont understand this mashed up feeling. feels like this cruel destiny or fate of mine. something along that line.

its like why didnt i .... or i should have.... or i really didnt know.

now tht i know , i really pushed the limit so much so that its really a no brainer why it all went the way it went. this is the time when i really REALLY i dunno.. cant say its a regret since i didnt know better or i didnt mature yet.

why must happen the way it is? and why do i keep having malay guy friends surrounding me. IT PISSES ME OFF and I WANT TO POINT A MIDDLE FINGER ALRDY. like WHERE ARE THE CHINESE MALES. not racist just IRRITATED.  MALAY PEOPLE, PLEASE DONT COME MAKE FRIENDS WITH ME ANYMORE. out of X only 1 made the mark.

its just in your blood to be "RELAC RELAC" (MALAY SLANG) irritates me too.
so u all can go DO THAT and i will really dont give a shit because... AI YA, whats wrong with liking hardworking ppl huh or even being one?

so many reasons ppl give me.
M just says he's like that, dont find a reason why he had to strive harder. * he is 30yrs old hor*
the other wld probably just say not everybody is the same. -__-
N would be because he tried but just don't like it, why must work so hard lei why cannot just chill la.

and many more ppl with the same reasons. which is dont find a need to. see.  TOLD YOU ITS JUST THEM.

just like china people, MOST of them would be uncalled for, just saying.
JNZL