stress for mye

i can't upload any darn pics. dam it.

anyway, just came here to voice out my unhappiness..

for these days, i have been eating so little i think my stomach is going to go on war with me.
sleeping at weird hours like 8-12am then mug till 4am then sleep.

i can't get a night of true sleep.
is been tormenting. PLUS my mom is ard is like amplifying my miserable life.
when i was on the bus back home.

i was thinking what i would tell my children if they asked me how was my life in JC.
i would 100% tell them tht it is the worst years of my life.

i am sooo sure life won't get any worse then these two years i went through.
well, it varies with ppl u see, ppl make nice friends are of course happy.

ppl who don't go through traumas after traumas won't understand.
all my first time of all negative things happen during JC. everything.
well, not including death of course.
sometimes, it doesn't matter if no one bothers to understand me, because i myself won't really bother myself to understand those whom i don't bother.

hatred and many more.
there is soo much negative thoughts on me tht i am surprised why my room is not dark yet.

oh btw, i was sooooo paranoid of seeing someone tht i just MUST avoid that person.
it happen quite recently, when i thought tht person was the ONE, i was like shit! AVOID!

ITS LIKE AN INSTANT REACTION.
oh well

i just have a small wish.
which can't be fulfilled.

dear god, Allah, Jesus and all the gods tht is ard,
promise me that when i go to heaven, promise you would allow me to sleep to my heart content.

do u ever wondered why i literally love to sleep every sec of my life away?
because dreams can take you to the corners of your smiles,
to the highest of your hopes,
to the windows of your opportunities and
to the most special places your heart has ever known.




JNZL

transformer

Transformers movie was soo good that its simply the

BEST ACTION PACK MOVIE tht i have ever seen!!

every single min there was like a chockful of action. u can't sleep, its quite impossible .

though i really think tht the trailer SUCK.
the trailer made me sleep and drag by fian to watch it.

realllyyy glad i did.
if TITANIC was given 5 popcorns, THIS TRANSFOMERS was given 5 1/2 popcorns!
so do u think i is gonna be worth every single bit of ur money?

HAHA.
for girly girls who simply think tht transformers is just for those macho man, then i am quite sad to say tht you are wrong!

cause u ain't see nothing yet!

"you have always been destined ,this is your fate"

if someone were to doubt you ,
tht lead actor said" because i believe in myself"

there is a purpose for everything that happened to you, just forget abt the saying tht small things goes a long way.

i am talking abt hurtful events tht follow you through your life time.
there is always a greater purpose of why it happened.

even if you are stuck at a dead end always remember the answer could just be only a breath away.

don't give up when others gives up on you.
keep believing on what you yourself believe, what you truly stand for.

only u will know what it is.
always take a gamble in life. ppl always said that gambling is bad , etc but when you are actually gambling this very moment.

your MCQs tht's a gamble. you gamble with fate every time you make a choice.its a gamble.

remember , its really ok to gamble.
however, i guess the real golden rule or a rule which no one really realise.

the important thing is to say STOP. if u can say STOP. u win.
p/s i am so going to buy a pack of GOSTOP cards.

its a famous card game in KOREA.
=)


JNZL

siblings

I finally understood why people with siblings in their house don't understand how the hell i could wake up so late...

TODAY, or rather yesterday night, i overnighted at my dad's house where my little bro of pri 3 stays.

i never felt so cozy waking up in the morning.
i always had ppl screaming their lungs out or just irritating ppl in my hse aka mom

so waking up always seems like a chore.

however, today was different. i auto wake up at 8am which EVERYONE knows is an almost IMPOSSIBLE task for me.

but it just feels sooo right, when i woke up and see my little bro looking at me from the bed.
hahaha.. how nice he is.

he even waited for me to have breakfast with me..
AWWWW... i tell u , NOBODY ever waits for me to eat breakfast with them.

i felt tht i could live there FOREVER. however i know tht wouldn't be the case.
when i woke up and walked down to the dining table, i felt so right. i am serious.

living alone sucks.
siblings rocks no matter how irritating they could be.

having someone to prepare ur breakfast ROCKS!
oh btw, did u know today was the only rare times tht someone actually prepares breakfast for me.

saddening. maybe even if i had the same meal at my own hse would feel completely different.
it's due to the reason tht i seems more of a

"I MUST EAT THIS GRUB DOWN OR ELSE SOMEONE IS GONNA NAG "

so yup. i always discovered tht honey-vinegar drink is dam nice.
however its exp. >.>

JNZL

drag me to hell

WATCHED DRAG ME TO HELL

OH my god, it is dam scary.. i tell u i got so chua tio tht my whole 2 leg flew up to my body.
initially i thought it wouldn't be scary cause we sat sooo behing literally the last row.

HOWEVER we still got scared after all. i can't imagine what it would be like if we sat the 1st 3 rows. oh my...

lesson learned.: dun shame old people espically those tht look like they know some black magic up their sleeves.

-----------------------------------------------------------

today studied with bestie and wei hao.
a lot of things happened today.

HAHAHA..
after 7 hours of study our body gave up. but thanks to tht movie, i think i kena chua tio until wide awake.

OHOH.. watched with best boy buddies
like jie sheng and yee chong.

of course they became HANDSOME!!
NICE ONE.

tomorrow rudi coming back from christchurch.
hope he didn'e convert there.. lolololol..

i must remember tht i have test on sat!!
plus, i finally STUDIED 3 chapt of phys. HAVE LOADS of qns for Dr VAZ now!!

hahaha.. so he can stop worrying for me by keep messaging me. haha cute guy.

JNZL

reflect on myslef

hm mm..

watched taking of phlem 123 and ghosts of girlfriend's past.

phlem taught me bravery" gogp" taught me

"it is true that the one who cares less has more power over the other, however that person doesn't receive true happiness"

it taught me to be satisfied of what i have now and not keep thinking tht the other side is always greener.

maybe true happiness is always by your side, however due to scars of life experience you may be afraid to take hold of it. you may be afraid to take risks, nothing is confirmed but if u dun take it, how will u ever know?

today, i did maths only.
slept too much, like who doesn't know right.

btw, i am thankful for myself that the decisions i made so far are correct.
thinking back, if i were to choose to walk on the other path which i almost chose, i would be regretting my ass now.

cause human nature is soo UN predictable, there are so many variables to consider, most of them are unknown variables.

in life 1+1 maybe not = 2. oh dam. tht's what i hate .
but ironically, tht is what make my life worth living after all. do u get it?

so it is just me and you against the whole big world now.
dun dissapoint me.
JNZL

my all mv

Mariah carey-my all link



this song. there is something i just can't say, can't express, can't show.
can't say it to anyone.

because forbidden came and freedom walked away.
in this life of my, i have really played with life, with people, with emotions.

and therefore, the ending quote is always true.

JNZL

25KM OF MY LEG

we settled down for abt 15 mins at suntec starbucks.
above is ming en and greg. and below is ALVIN TEO.( the one who led us to suntec)


TODAY JOEY CYCLED ABT 30KM

FRM EAST COAST PARK TO SUNTEC

AND BACK AGAIN.

today was om gosh!
i was like cycling and cycling and today me and Ming en plus Greg cycled on the ROAD.
alvin was a usual customer.

yeah, we were all super cautious, and me seeing the bus right behind Greg's bicycle butt scared me man.

it was like cars zooming past us and many, drive ard the center not daring to get close to us in case accidents.

well, the cycle to the city was pretty LONG.
and not to mention those 10 000 small sharp turns tht i had to do and ended up falling, loosing balance and all the things u can think of happened to me.

as what alvin says" if u don't die, you will only get stronger."
well well.

even greg wonders how could a human being get into sooo many incidents.
step on soil, hit an old man( not tht serious pls it was just touching him)
making ppl SIAM frm me on the pavement, making a person quarrel with other ppl, due to me.

and u know what?
MY BELL WAS SPOILED HALF WAY THROUGH.
and ppl like me simply CANNOT HAVE THEIR BELLS GETTING SPOILED.

i wanted to x-change with greg or m.e but gave up the idea when all of us were watching out for cars.

BTW, when we cycled uphill on the KPE for the return journey, me and m.e was like OMGOD!

slow motion peddling.

our legs was abt to give up but we persevered and peddled with all our might.

i felt the worst ever muscle pain when we were peddling tht stupid hill.
my muscles was screaming in pain like too much lactic acid being formed?

ming en almost thought of cabbing back cause her bike just can't go fast. and greg and tht alvin simply was ALMOST OUT OF SIGHT! for me.

we rushed like dog once we reached east coast park and it was from one end of east coast to the other end. took us 30 mins cycle.

we tried to zoom past others but ppl simply just refuse to walk on the right lanes.
i had better control this time.

so at the last stretch i think i cycled like a mad woman, since the road got nobody.

i didn't realize greg and m.e plus alvin was not anywhere near me cause i was focused on getting there to end my cramps on fingers, butt and quadriceps muscles(dunno la ard thigh area) plus my toes were cramping.

oh, i think everybody had butt cramps and i seriously think i sweat ard 1litre. cause all of us had no pee.

the OMG PART was when we reached tamp, i had a

CHAMPION OF ALL CRAMPS.

well, they said i might have a tear in my muscles because i could not even bend my knees and i could not lift up my left leg.

i was so in pain tht i can't move.
not joking, and when i finally sat down and tried my hardest to bend my knees, i swear tears of pain came out of my eyes.

i think we didn't warm up tht's why.
so tht's all, but i saw hector too.

TODAY WAS FILLED WITH pain, heart attacks moments, HAPPY! moments .
oh btw, i think all of us lost ard 300g of fats. =.=



JNZL

computer dies

MY COMPUTER HAS FINALLY BREATHED IT'S

LAST

SURGE OF ELECTRICAL ENERGY AND HAS

WENT

INTO A VEGETABLE STATE. probably dead and wun revive.

i am using my mom lappy.
so presuming my mom is an angel and would approve of me buying a macbook.
poor joey

JNZL

OVER VIEW

It's a big big specs on a big big head in a big big world.
(follows a song)

I AM GOING TO BLOG A POST WHICH HAS QUALITY. (for me)

firstly, i wonder why the wonder why the earth can't stop spining for a day for me.
i am in such a big world, its just like a small girl trying to conquer the whole wide world.

i just can't stop thinking that there is actually an angel watching over me.
JUST FOR ME.

i dunno if there is such a thing but it is nice to think abt it.



today, i laughed and really had nice moments with geraldine and her clement.
oh well, it's comforting to see her smile and laugh at my jokes.

with a smile so sincere and genuine, it is hard to find those nowadays.
well, maybe it is the weird side of me.

i keep thinking that people would always smile but just for the sake of it.
i made 3 people smile today. rudi, ger and her bf.



ok, here is the really long long part.
try to endure k.

TODAY i have offically have solid information tht my form teacher reads my bloggg...
it's surprises me a little. i mean , they bother to?

maybe it became a habit ? or is it just them to going further to know us better. HAHAHA.
i think this is the 2nd teacher i know of who reads my unexpressed thoughts.

although i crossed my fingers and toes and probably eyes tht no present teachers would read, it just happens la.. so ppl, dun cross ur fingers. it doesn't work.

so stop wishing on the wrong star.

ok, next.. i am v. sure that "stalker" teacher(for laughs for those who knows)doesn't read my blog.

i tell, u.. YOU duno how i am becoming like those ppl who are so afraid to see their teachers.
CAUSE ITS NOTHING GOOD!!!

well, mr.n gave up on me i guess.there are tell-tale signs.he told me in lect today tht it doesn't work if he keeps nagging at me or i duno la..

i knew it. u see ppl, i was determined to go for tht remedial on sat. i even packed my bag pls.
i woke up late and nv attend.
no one will believe me and i BET 100 BILLION dollars that my remedial mates are going to shake their heads at me and say" JOEY!!!! WHY U PON?!"

THEN , i will be like... i REALLY never pon.(shows sad face)
oh well.....

ok , if u think that is not enough, my PE teacher is OMG. the next stalker of SINGAPORE.
they freaking stalk me everywhere pls..

they even know wth i ate for luch and recess when i dun even see them. when they spot me in sch they will shout my name no matter how many ppl are surrounding me.
BTW , my pe teachers are females for crying out loud.

I DUNNO WHY those angel teachers just won't take me in...
oh.. mentioning abt angel teachers.

i got one on my list.
he is mr k.gan
GUESS WHAT PEOPLE.

i am soooooooooooooooooooo heartbroken x10000 billion to the infinity when i heard my form teacher telling me tht mr gan mention my name first when he asked abt the class i think.

HEY PPL, it is not good for me for teachers to have such a strong impression on me.
it always the negative things tht stays with them...

and u know what people. mr .G said something abt me just not made to be doing... ( i didn't catch the later part)

put urself in my shoes.
when a teacher says tht , omg, i think i almost cried pls.i wanted my form teacher to repeat what he said or say it more clearly, but i didn't...

cause my brain said he would probably say he can't really remember bla bla ba.
dam dam dam dam dam sad pls.

ok, so do u still think tht i am not a trouble-magnet?
i tell u , every single sch i went be it primary, sec or jc.. even kindergarden.

i will ALWAYS NEVER FAIL TO LEAVE AN impression on teachers. nt good ones.

OMGOSH. i am dam famous in pri sch pls.
i let a teacher kena fired, teacher draw marker on my face blabla..

in sec sch, OMGod, i think not one teacher has failed to forget abt the infamous joey ng zi lin.
i think my sleeping disorder tht was made up by mr rangit, was so famous even those ppl in the HOD whom i dunno knows me.

now tell me, how AWESOME tht can be? -.-
well, in jc, same old trend, infamous with teachers and most probably with classmates too..
ONE MORE THING. my blurness was AMPLIFIED in JC.

long right... told ya.





i bought rudi the giordano [cheer u up] shirt! well geraldine bought with me too.
she bought for her bf as well.i bought the monkey design while she bought the classic pa jiao smiley face. =D

it's good to let it all out.

even if teachers read my blog.

i'm very ok abt it.

cause only the truths are being told here.

nothing wrong being frank.

it's just how well u can swallow it.

JNZL

pool of thoughts

Have you ever thought of what thoughts that went through people's mind?

behind every smile, have u ever wondered if it was genuine?
behind every blank look, ever wondered what was on their mind?

Have u ever wondered how much someone needs you and u being totally unaware of it?
today was a cozy day.

its so nice getting to know them.
its so nice being able to see that their wall btw me is slowly disappearing.

sometimes, sacrifices are worth it.

i know some things are not meant to be said.
i know some things are meant to be.

however, if fate really lies on what's up there, wouldn't that be saddening?
if everything you did, or happened was fated. wouldn't it suck?

temptation of life is always so great tht one tends to forget what they already have.

i know i regret alot.
i know i fault alot.
i also know that people you loves me back , be it a friend or my bestie will forgive and forget those mistakes i've made in life.

they would probably know i am a trouble magnet and they would do their best to push me back to the right path back again.

tell me, how often do you hav friends that does that?
understand you probably more than you understand yourself.
its a blessing .

thank god that life isn't that horrible, berible, vegetable after all.

JNZL