stress for mye

i can't upload any darn pics. dam it.

anyway, just came here to voice out my unhappiness..

for these days, i have been eating so little i think my stomach is going to go on war with me.
sleeping at weird hours like 8-12am then mug till 4am then sleep.

i can't get a night of true sleep.
is been tormenting. PLUS my mom is ard is like amplifying my miserable life.
when i was on the bus back home.

i was thinking what i would tell my children if they asked me how was my life in JC.
i would 100% tell them tht it is the worst years of my life.

i am sooo sure life won't get any worse then these two years i went through.
well, it varies with ppl u see, ppl make nice friends are of course happy.

ppl who don't go through traumas after traumas won't understand.
all my first time of all negative things happen during JC. everything.
well, not including death of course.
sometimes, it doesn't matter if no one bothers to understand me, because i myself won't really bother myself to understand those whom i don't bother.

hatred and many more.
there is soo much negative thoughts on me tht i am surprised why my room is not dark yet.

oh btw, i was sooooo paranoid of seeing someone tht i just MUST avoid that person.
it happen quite recently, when i thought tht person was the ONE, i was like shit! AVOID!

ITS LIKE AN INSTANT REACTION.
oh well

i just have a small wish.
which can't be fulfilled.

dear god, Allah, Jesus and all the gods tht is ard,
promise me that when i go to heaven, promise you would allow me to sleep to my heart content.

do u ever wondered why i literally love to sleep every sec of my life away?
because dreams can take you to the corners of your smiles,
to the highest of your hopes,
to the windows of your opportunities and
to the most special places your heart has ever known.




JNZL