al

I really really really really really want to go back to my real house and sleep on my real bed.

it sucks to sleep in my old hse.

because of it i get headaches everyday.

it really sucks.

i am forced to sleep at 9 plus because there is literally nothing else i can do after tht.

the maid sleeps in the computer room"great".

the TV remote is being kept to prevent berwin from watching.

i hav read all the magazines.

i feel that i have almost no more social life.

for this whole dam week. i didnt exercise.

-.- today is friday.

AND I WILL BE GOING BACK.

YES!YES!YES!

i will reveal to my dad to tell him that i will keep fit myself.

maybe on sat night.

EVERYDAY I TEXT DIONNE AND ESPECIALLY SK AND SUF.

WHY? because i dam it cannot sleep.

its not because i am not use to sleep so early.

i can sleep at literally anytime in my own rm. seriously. any time. i can just plop onto my bed and sleep.

plus. when i had bad diahhorea, they had no med.

T.T

i feel vvvvv uncomfortable there. i cannot make noise cannot on light cause scared they might wake up.

dont even bother to go into the part abt laundry. had so many probs.

JUST CANNOT MAKE SOUND LA! CANNOT MAKE PHONE CALLS as and when i want because i sleep with berwin and it will wake him up.so i had to whisper which annoys me to the maximum.

and i cant text cause the light is too bright and will ake him up.

its like torture.

maybe i will slim down from all these wtf stress which pops out frm nowhere.

the only gd thing is a promised dinner .

=.=

berwin sleeps at 8.45pm and wakes up at 5.45am everyday.

and he gets super playful and plays with the lights to wake me up . which makes me wanna kick him in the stomach . which i didnt bother to because my head hurts.

complaining seems whiney. i dunno la! everything i do there seems so out of place.

i dont even feel part of the family which is supposed to be.

my dad is the only one who i can talk freely too w/o me feeling weird.

talking to lena feels awfully weird.

even in the car.

ACTUALLY, the last straw came today.

i was hesistating if i shld continue.

but today morning, after tht playful berwin played with the lights and talking so loud. i really wonder if i shld care he sleeps well or not.

and my head hurts, my coughs wont stop, i got a bad stomach ache at night and no one actually can care.

i mean, i shld just knock on the door and tell them i got tummy ache?

-.- wadever.

i just feel weird WEIRD AND VERY VERY OUT OF PLACE.

in the morning i couldnt wake up at 7 am i find waking up so early really sucks~

at least let me wake up at 730am.

let me leave the hse at 815am

BUT NO!

even if the maid woke me up at 7am she i woke up at 740am because lena stormed into my room, shouting at me" why haven't u woke up yet? You are supposed to wake up at 7am and leave the house at 745am! but you are still here sleeping. You don't want to go to work is it?! then she close the door after seeing me getting up

and i rushed for no reason to get dressed and i got out of the hse at 8am.

and my dad asked if i shld drink coffee

i said ok and came out of the toilet. lena looked pissed so i just said it was ok and i just walked out of the hse.

i was almost bursting into tears la.

why is she like tht? plus at 12pm she even asked hoon if i came late EVEN though i smsed her when i reached office at 820am!

what does this shows?

i think i cried all the way until the mrt, even i even covered my eyes frm everyone in order to prevent  me looking purposely looking poor thing.

i felt so much injustice.

why use so harsh words? i mean getting up late to be dam early to reach office is really an offense?

i even apologise to her for not smsing her abt havin dinner.

its ok. i think i will just have to bear with it.

all those laughs.

do u all really think they are real?

JNZL