dear dear

in this beautiful world there always lives a devil in everyone's heart fighting with the angel.
humans are weak due to their humanity. but i am no longer weak. if there is a will there is a way.

but read this post knowing that because i am only human that's why i have my unspoken flaws.i was weak.

i am sorry the devil took over me for these periods of time where there was just no one for me to ask help from.

but i am different now. i think i grew up after all the experiences.
i think i became a better person now. i shall tie all lose ends in my life and live life in a respectable manner.
no more partying for  me.

no more flings. no more etc etc etc etc.
i dun deserve to live life like this.

i shall imagine this friend of mine to be always there for me.
not asking things , listen to my difficulties
always standing by my side no matter what. believing in me always because deep down you know i am still growing to be a better person. still growing up to be adult.
and deep down u wld know that i am still can be a good girl and make u proud of me.

its only been 2 mths.
ppl take yrs to get over it.
cut me some slack? embrace me and telling me :" its ok, because no matter what you did, no matter how messed up u are, i am always here for you, for u to lean on when u can no longer stand on your both feets. when u need support and when u feel helpless. "

i am so sorry if i disappoint you.
i am only human.

i am not ready to face you when i am in this state. i am not ready to react to ur response. i am not ready.
when the day comes i will tell u everything.

but till then just keep beliveing in me wont you.
JNZL