life cycle

i feel blessed when u hug me.
can u interpret how i feel..dreaming, eyes closed. refusing to open yet i smile because someone said my smile could lit up someone's mood. i scream because things goes wrong and i cannot mend it.
now. its either i kick you and you die or vice-versa

let's see.
today was an awfully filled with emotions day.

CONGRATULATIONS to D.B.S who successfully scored 98% for his test.
i did my part too k!
well, as not expected, he got top for his batch. good for him

sorry if i kept calling u 98%.. its me.

after his exams, i have this strong urge to really start blaming myself for my fucked up marks for promos. and all i want to do now is to study chinese like. MAD MAD MAD MAD!!!!!!!!!

and then after i confirm my promotion, i will study like... like how i studied in sec 3 after i screwed up my sec 2 finals and cried to my tuition teacher like shit.

YOU SEE GUYS. don't u realise i always have to fall to shine?
this is depressing shit.(and i am not sure if i will shine in J2)

ppl started. i have not. k fine with tht. ppl confirm. i still wishing on tht fake wishing well or star.

i know i am not tht screwed.

after much talks with the old and wise sufian, i have decided.

if i were to retain, i would pick up my courage and my depleted ego and having faith and trust in DBS and my dumb ass friends tht they will not laugh at me and call me a loser.

for once, after my BIG fall.

i have decided to believe tht my friends are there for me to lean on and they will not stab me back in anyway. Because I CHOSE to believe, tht's why i am opening myself.if i get hurt for whatsoever reason, cause i tried. please be there, don't make me cry ...

its already going to be the end of oct. reflecting after alvin asked me how's life.

i told him :" crap and overall still nice" thanks god right?

i would like to credit my grp leader shawn for all the hard work putting our PP slides together.
=)

will i learn to accept who i am once more.
will i stop envying other ppl success and be more appreciative of what freaking life has given me and stop complaining on what shit life has thrown to me?

will i start to trust ppl i know?

will they give me a chance to know them?

will i stop typing and go sleep?-YES

bye guys!

JNZL